The Object of My Child's Affection
Every parent's had it happen to them; you are in hurry to get out the door, and your child is keeping you back by searching for his favorite teddy. Or your 8 month old will not stop crying in her cradle because her pacifier has fallen out. As a caretaker you know how frustrating a comfort item can be. You should keep in mind, though, to a small child the lack of his worn out, tattered blanket is what feels frustrating. Comfort objects are exactly what they sound like, and are a healthy, necessary part of being a child.
By the time the majority of children reach one year, they have already established a comfort item they need with them always. In children younger than one year, a binkie or even the child's own thumb will often work rather nicely to soothe and comfort them during a time of need. As your little one grows into a toddler, they may find something that is more physically comforting to protect them such as a stuffed animal or blankie. There are many that believe that the soft texture of such toys is at least in part, responsible for the soothing effect they seem to have on young children. A toddler will often rub a blankie on their face or arm or stroke a teddy bear to comfort themselves.
Another security feature your child can find with comfort items is the association they make with you as parents. The material of a blankie rubbed on their cheek may remind her or him of your clothing when rocked or hugged by you. Or perhaps the stuffed animal was always a part of the naptime routine you developed with your child. Again, the association of you soothing your toddler or making her feel shielded is what causes the strong attachment to these comfort objects. On occasion a child will make a comfort item out of unusual objects. It could be anything from a hard toy to a pair of socks. Although this type of bond is less noticeable, there is usually an emotional connection the child has made to get security or comfort from the item.
Although it may be challenging for you to cope with your child's consistent urgency for their teddy bear or blanket, it is helpful to consider that this time of childhood is both healthy and essential. The world can be scary to small children, especially as they reach their first birthday. It is during these early years that a child starts to suffer from separation anxiety due to the fact that they are more likely to find themselves separated from you through preschool, child care, or even on their own as they are exploring the world around them. By using a comfort item, your child is learning to comfort herself when you are not around or as they become independant. Regard it as a temporary partner to lift them through this new transition in their lives.
It usually isn't until your child reaches age 4 that she or he starts to control their feelings and emotions and no longer need to rely on a security object for securtiy, according to a child-development consultant, Jane Kostelc. It is also at this age that carrying around a tattered blankie might seem less accepted by their peers. Who knew children had to worry about peer pressure so young? For now, it's perhaps best for parents to accept this phase as the milestone that it is. When you do so you'll promote their emotional developement. Certainly something worthy of your short term frustration.
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